I am really convicted about my love (or really…lack thereof) for Jesus Christ. It isn’t just my love for Jesus…it is my ability (or, more accurately, inability) to love period. As I look at God’s Word, there is so much speaking about the importance of love. And the commandments are so clear as far as how they work. Basically…”Love God [first]; love others [second]“…that is essentially going to lead to the fulfillment of all other commandments” as Jesus answers to the pharisees. All of the law and prophets hang on these two commandments. I was reading through Romans a little bit today and Paul talks in chapter 3 about how he prays that the believers there might have the power to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge.
See, Christianity is more than an intellectual pursuit or debate…when it becomes simply based upon growing in knowledge and isn’t rooted in love, it leads to legalism and pride…a lot of pride. I think that this may be the most dangerous form of pride, because it can be masked in false humility. As a person grows in knowledge of God’s Word, it is easy to state what the Bible says about pride. It is easy to know that God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. However…if that knowledge is not ROOTED in LOVE…then it will quickly lead to arrogance and pride. I’ve experienced this in my own life too often and know the dangers that are contained within that. Another danger within that is the fact that we begin to study God simply as a means to grow in our own knowledge, and we study Him as we would anything else. He becomes nothing more than an object to be studied, and when He becomes an object, many things happen. First of all, it leads to really poor theology, because God is not an object, he is a subject. And God is not just a subject to be studied…He is the God who has created us. And as our Creator, He has given each of us our cerebral capabilities and the ability to understand anything. So anything that can be known about God can only be known as He has revealed Himself to us, and still our ability to know Him is limited by the finite minds that we have been given (and a finite being attempting to understand the eternal and infinite God of the universe…is clearly going to be severely limited)…HE determines how it is we can know Him and study Him…we cannot just try to understand him and study Him as we would any other academic topic. I’m running far away from the topic which I was pursuing…
So, what I’ve been struggling with is my proclamation to love Jesus Christ…I mean, I have been making the proclamation, but as the Lord has been revealing my life, I don’t know that it’s a true statement. Where is the fruit of the Holy Spirit in my life? If I love Jesus Christ, as He says, I will obey His commands. What does He command? Essentially…He commands that I first and foremost, Love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. He also commands that I love my neighbor as myself. When I look at how I spend the bulk of my time…I just feel like my priorities are way off. I am more self-serving and critical than I am selfless and loving. I have a wife who is so servant-hearted and sometimes I find myself being lazy and taking her for granted (not treating her with the same love that Jesus has shown us by giving up Himself for us)…I have opportunities to read the Word and spend intentional time in prayer, and I just choose to neglect it. Some mornings, I feel like I can’t miss Sport Center’s Top 10, so I cram it in while I eat my cereal…I could at least take advantage of that time to be in the Word or spend some time praying for the Lord to align my heart with His will for me. But I don’t…I say that my passion is to be used my God to challenge the Church to love Him more completely, but the truth is that my priorities are all messed up. If I want to be effective in ministering to God’s people, and if I honestly want to be used in full-time vocational ministry, I have to first be willing to give my life to serving Him and loving Him where I am. I have to serve, not in hopes of landing a ministry job, but because I truly do love Jesus Christ. If I truly feel called to full-time ministry, then why do I not take advantage of the spare time I have to study His word and pray faithfully and consistently? I am reminded that Jesus said, “Whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the Gospel will save it.”
I am clearly a desperate sinner in need of the grace of God…remove me from the throne, Lord Jesus, and please take the place that is rightfully Yours. Let my claim to love You become a reality in the way I live my life and to what I devote my time…and may the love that You have shown me and given to me flow out from me into the lives of all of those around me. Please give me the ability to love You because You first loved me…please be glorified in your servant and forgive me once again for my laziness and apathy…reignite a burning passion for You and You alone in my life. Use me however You desire and give me the ability to trust You wherever that may be. Amen.
Matt, God’s Holy Spirit is in the words you have spoken. I have said for the last 3-4 years that we ( The Church) will never experience all that God has and wants for us until we have true intimacy with Him and other believers. And you can’t have that intimancy with someone unless you have the true first love that He commands. It is so hard for us to understand that kind of love. Kris and I have been doing a Love & Respect series at church for couples (its great) and Dr Eggerts the teacher constantly harps on the love that a man has for his wife must be the type of love that we/man must be willing to die for our spouses. Christ demonstrated and demonstrates that each day for us. His love is infinit and we can’t comprehend that. I say I would die for my wife and family but unless something were to happen to cause me to have to actually make that choice we’ll never really know. But if we really believe that what we believe is real then why aren’t we doing more for His kingdom. I’m ashamed (and need his mercy and forgiveness)of myself for doing exactly what you said. Using those extra few minutes to watch or see something and not spending it with Him, just letting His presense consume me and be quiet before the Lord. Thank your for words of engouragement and reflection and may God Bless and guard your heart.