Wisdom Evades Me

It’s funny to me how, in conversations with people, I can say so many things without a second thought.  I don’t know if it stems from an insecurity that I have about being perceived as not contributing to a conversation or coming across as disinterested or something, or maybe I just seem to think that what I have to say is always so important that everybody else would want to hear what I have to say…I never seem to have a shortage of words…

The harsh truth of it all, however, is that there is a lot in Scripture that seems to suggest that being the person with many words does not mean that you are wise and have so much insight that everybody else in the world is just so desperate to hear…as a matter of fact, the Bible seems to indicate quite the contrary:

 

“When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.” Proverbs 10:19

“A prudent man keeps his knowledge to himself, but the heart of fools blurts out folly.” Proverbs 12:23

“The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered.  Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.” Proverbs 17:27-28

“A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions.” Proverbs 18:2

…and about a million other proverbs along those lines…

“My dear brothers, take note of this.  Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.   For man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” James 1:19

 

As I type this, I am truly convicted…just thinking about how often I feel like I have to contribute in some way in every conversation.  It isn’t even something that I do consciously or intentionally arrogantly (I guess it’s just an indication of how foolish I am).  I think about passages like those I just listed and other passages like Ecclesiastes chapter 5 where it says, “Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God.  God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few.  As a dream comes when there are many cares, so the speech of a fool when there are many words.” (granted, the context of this particular verse is in reference to approaching the Lord, but it is still applicable in other circumstances as a response of humility unto the Lord and even practiced towards others).

I was thinking of writing a lot tonight and work through some thoughts, but tonight…I need to repent and pray for true wisdom…wisdom that comes from encountering the One True God, spending time in the Word of God, and results in me shutting my mouth.

Living the Dream

I had an incredibly vivid dream the other night, and when I awoke from the dream at about 4:30 AM, my heart was beating so fast, I truly thought it might beat out of my chest.  Now, before I reveal the dream and how it all unfolded, let me give a brief preface.

I am not a mystic, nor am I making any sort of claim about a direct revelation in this dream…I know there are stories throughout the Scriptures where God appeared to people in specific ways or revealed particular prophecies/visions to people within their dreams, and I want to clarify that this is not what I believe happened to me.  However, I do think that the Holy Spirit is completely capable of using any number of mediums to get our attention and reveal truths to us, even if that takes place during a REM cycle through our subconscious dreaming.  And I do believe that this particular dream was used by God to get my attention in a big way and put things into perspective.  Again…not saying this is any sort of specific revelation, but definitely something that God used to reveal a general truth about the world to me.  All that said…here it is.

I believe we were in Canada.  The “we” I am speaking of refers to myself, my wife, and both of our families.  Now, for some reason, it felt like the dream was taking place before we were actually married…and I think that’s why my brother was behind the wheel (although, we were driving my Red Kia Spectra…so how that got to Canada is unknown).  It was my brother and I in my car in and Amanda was in the car behind us.  We were driving on a winding highway, lined with large trees on both sides, creating a sort of canopy over the highway with all of it’s twists and turns.  As we progressed down the winding road (not sure where we were going exactly) I started to notice that there were pieces of some of these trees on the road ahead of us.  There were rather large pieces of bark that had apparently somehow fallen from the trees, apparently randomly strewn about, which made navigating the narrow road difficult as we had to swerve around these pieces.  As we continued on our journey, these became increasingly common, to the place where our hearts started racing.  I looked over to Jared and he was leaning forward looking up instead of watching the road.  I yelled out to him, “Jared watch the road!” and then I looked up for myself and realized, these trees were all currently dropping these pieces of wood.  Not only were we trying to swerve around the pieces on the road, but we also had to dodge the falling pieces of trees.  Oh…and it should be noted, these trees were all alive, and the pieces falling from them were not dead portions falling, and the weather was completely clear, beautiful, and sunny.  It was as if the trees were intentionally shedding these pieces for some reason or another.

Finally, the road appeared to be impassible and Jared did a quick swerve and turned around.  For some reason, I was compelled to get out of the car and try and run to safety and did so as he stopped into the turn around (not something I would likely do in reality, but apparently in my dream, I had to get to wherever we were headed).  So, I’m looking up, fearing desperately for my life trying to dodge these huge falling pieces of trees.  And when I looked forward at the road ahead, I noticed something.  I saw that the trees were not all apparently throwing pieces down on me as I had thought.  In fact, every single tree was actually bending, completely down to the ground.  They weren’t just bending, though…they were bowing.  There was utter humility exhibited by these trees, I know that’s anthropomorphic language, but I realized that all of these trees were bowing down for their Creator.  My heart continued pounding, in fact, it was racing faster and faster; no longer for fear of getting hit be the debris and losing my life, but because I was witnessing the creation worship it’s Creator.  I threw my hands up into the air and began sprinting forward, running in a state of awe and worship of my Lord!  I joined in with the rest of the creation in praise, and I ran on the highway until the tree line ended, opening up into a clearing.  And there was all of creation, bowing down and worshiping Jesus Christ, by whom and for whom all of it was created (Colossians 1:16).  The trees!  The mountains!  Even tornadoes were swirling in adoration (not damaging or harming anything) As I continued running in the direction of where all of the worship was directed, all I could see was the radiant glory of Jesus Christ.  I could not see Him, but I knew it was Him…and He was being worshiped as He rightfully deserves to be.  And then I awoke.

It was 4:30 AM, and there in our bedroom, my heart literally felt like it was about to beat out of my chest.  I could feel my heart racing, and I was overjoyed!  I felt like I had just experienced a glimpse of something that is true of all of creation.  I felt like I was experiencing something similar to a fulfillment of what Paul describes in Romans 8:19-21 – “The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed.  For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.”

As my heart race began to slow back down to a somewhat normal pace, I was overwhelmed with this incredible sense of the glory of God and how all of creation recognizes the Lordship of Christ.  Even thinking about the fig tree that Jesus caused to wither with the words of His mouth…Jesus is Lord over all of creation, even over those who try to deny His lordship by suppressing this truth in their wickedness (Romans 1).

So here is what I feel the Lord was impressing upon me and revealed to me through this.  This life is too short for me to focus on anything other than glorifying Him.  Why do I waste my time and energy on trivial pursuits instead of focusing my energy on bringing Him praise…because ultimately, we were created to worship and to obey (Genesis 2:15)…and this is what God is calling us to do.  And as we strive to give Him the worship that He is due (giving ourselves as living sacrifices)…then we will begin to experience the abundant life which is only given by Christ Himself, and only experienced when we live in submission to Him.  And I do believe that all of creation will one day bow before it’s creator…and be restored just as the Scriptures say.  So now, I’m just going to try to live out the implications of the dream that I had…just living the dream.

John Calvin and Life in Modern Times

Recently, I’ve started reading a book (or actually, it’s five books in one) called The Institutes of the Christian Religion, by John Calvin.  I am only in the first book of the five because there are numerous prefaces and introductions to the book.  There is one writing from the translator, one from another Calvin scholar, and numerous translated writings from John Calvin himself about the body of work.  The primary purpose of these writings is to basically lay the groundwork of biblical theology directed (initially) for students of theology.  He wanted to present a text that would draw the students back into the Word of God and also present sound philosophical arguments for the biblical representation of the human condition and the reality of the biblical historical accounts.  Now, it is also important to note that although that was his initial intent, this work also presented a strong case for true biblical Christianity (which was in opposition to what the “church” was at that time).  He was writing against the corruption and the lies that were being presented to the “church” from the leaders at that time.  This is especially apparent in his letter to the King of France, to whom Calvin presented this work.  He was pleading for the King to consider the biblical position which he is presenting in his work (and even his letter to the King could practically constitute a “book” and stand alone instead of a preface to the rest of the book).

I have been drawn into his writings so easily for many reasons…1. The Protestant Church has been so heavily influenced by his writings and the appeal that Luther, Calvin and numerous other reformers made to the people in an effort to better the church.  2.  My personal theology has been heavily influenced by much of what I’ve read of his work, and I really wanted to read deeper into it.  3.  And perhaps the greatest reason of all: Calvin’s heart and love for God are poured out on every page and in every word; his utmost priority is to glorify the Lord in all that he does.

One of the things that has struck me so deeply about Calvin is not only how ridiculously good he is at communicating through writing, but also how thorough the work is.  He specifically states that he won’t go into the same level of detail in any of his commentaries which would follow the writing of this book for the fact that he has been basically exhaustive with these writings.

I think often times Calvin is misrepresented by people who (often very proudly) call themselves “Calvinists.”  First of all, many of these people claim affiliation to him before they do to Christ…to which I would immediately appeal to Paul’s 1st letter to the church in Corinth where he speaks of divisions within the church and how some of them claimed to follow Paul, others Apollo, others Cephas…and his appeal is back to Christ.  He says, “Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you?”  And, judging from what I see in Calvin’s writings, I’m confident he would have been very quick to point people to this very text when they claim to have affiliation with him or anybody other than Christ (just as Paul does in 1 Cor 1 and 3).  I think that the heart behind the theology of Calvin is all about the glory of God and the reality that Scripture is our final authority…and I think his heart is often not communicated when people who are proponents of his theological framework present their cases.  Okay, back to the point I was trying to make…

One of the things that has really struck me about this is just how knowledgeable he was of the Scriptures.  Almost every other sentence so far is a reference to or direct quote from Scripture.  You can tell when you read his writings that he immersed himself into the Word of God and really meditated upon it.  I love reading writers who have the Scriptures as the primary text from which they work…and Calvin certainly does that.  One of the things that reading it has caused me to do is to reflect upon how little time I spend truly meditating upon the Word of God.  It’s really caused me to “give careful thought to my ways” as the Lord spoke through Haggai to Zerubbabel.  I’ve been thinking about the length of the book and it is a seriously substantial read.  A book like that would very likely be an entirely life’s work for me if I wanted to undertake such a writing.  And for Calvin, not only did he write this, but he also translated the entire writing!  As if that isn’t enough, he also wrote numerous other books, and battled illness his entire adult life.  Oh, and this was all LONG before there were computers or typewriters or anything…it was all with a pen!  I’m not saying this in an effort to glorify John Calvin, but I’m so challenged by the tenacity with which he worked for the Lord.  He made it his absolute top priority to give himself completely to the efforts of reforming the Church, and restoring the Word of God to its proper place, as the ultimate authority on this earth.

I feel like we live in a day and age where we have all of the conveniences in the world.  We are able to do about 20 different tasks all at one time and we have so many tools to help us accomplish each of these tasks simultaneously and as quickly as possible.  Often times, I feel that even though we can do so many things all at once and in such a quick manner, this may often be to our own detriment.  I find that much of the time, when I feel the Lord nudging me to open His Word and spend deliberate time in prayer…there is always something else vying for my attention.  Even when I log on here to write a blog or check my email, there are ads that pop up on the side of the page trying to pull my focus away from my thoughts and on to basically anything else.  We are bombarded by a slew of different messages practically constantly…and sometimes I think the Lord speaks in whispers.

I think though, that there were plenty of distractions that historical theologians had to deal with as well.  So us living in an age where we have multimedia everything and sensory overload all the time, does not excuse us from neglecting our Lord.  Actually, what we have is numerous little idols in our lives that we often don’t acknowledge as idols.  The Lord is wanting to work in our hearts and we are called to be transformed by the renewing of our minds.  How often I ignore this command and simply allow myself to be distracted.  I want to be more deliberate about making the time to really hear from the Lord…and not just give Him my spare moments before meals and before bed.  He is the God of everything and over everything and He deserves my undivided attention.  He deserves my first-fruits, not my leftovers.  I’m praying that I will be open to hear from the Lord and be proactive to seek His face first so that my will can be brought into conformity with His.  I need to walk in His grace with gratitude and begin to live out the love for Him that I profess to possess.  I need to make the time to truly meditate upon His Word and to have them flow from my heart and out of my mouth so that I can bring glory to Him in all that I do.  Lord Jesus, help me.

Prioritizing

I am really convicted about my love (or really…lack thereof) for Jesus Christ.  It isn’t just my love for Jesus…it is my ability (or, more accurately, inability) to love period.  As I look at God’s Word, there is so much speaking about the importance of love.  And the commandments are so clear as far as how they work.  Basically…”Love God [first]; love others [second]“…that is essentially going to lead to the fulfillment of all other commandments” as Jesus answers to the pharisees.  All of the law and prophets hang on these two commandments.  I was reading through Romans a little bit today and Paul talks in chapter 3 about how he prays that the believers there might have the power to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge.

See, Christianity is more than an intellectual pursuit or debate…when it becomes simply based upon growing in knowledge and isn’t rooted in love, it leads to legalism and pride…a lot of pride.  I think that this may be the most dangerous form of pride, because it can be masked in false humility.  As a person grows in knowledge of God’s Word, it is easy to state what the Bible says about pride.  It is easy to know that God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.  However…if that knowledge is not ROOTED in LOVE…then it will quickly lead to arrogance and pride.  I’ve experienced this in my own life too often and know the dangers that are contained within that.  Another danger within that is the fact that we begin to study God simply as a means to grow in our own knowledge, and we study Him as we would anything else.  He becomes nothing more than an object to be studied, and when He becomes an object, many things happen.  First of all, it leads to really poor theology, because God is not an object, he is a subject.  And God is not just a subject to be studied…He is the God who has created us.  And as our Creator, He has given each of us our cerebral capabilities and the ability to understand anything.  So anything that can be known about God can only be known as He has revealed Himself to us, and still our ability to know Him is limited by the finite minds that we have been given (and a finite being attempting to understand the eternal and infinite God of the universe…is clearly going to be severely limited)…HE determines how it is we can know Him and study Him…we cannot just try to understand him and study Him as we would any other academic topic.  I’m running far away from the topic which I was pursuing…

So, what I’ve been struggling with is my proclamation to love Jesus Christ…I mean, I have been making the proclamation, but as the Lord has been revealing my life, I don’t know that it’s a true statement.  Where is the fruit of the Holy Spirit in my life?  If I love Jesus Christ, as He says, I will obey His commands.  What does He command?  Essentially…He commands that I first and foremost, Love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength.  He also commands that I love my neighbor as myself.  When I look at how I spend the bulk of my time…I just feel like my priorities are way off.  I am more self-serving and critical than I am selfless and loving.  I have a wife who is so servant-hearted and sometimes I find myself being lazy and taking her for granted (not treating her with the same love that Jesus has shown us by giving up Himself for us)…I have opportunities to read the Word and spend intentional time in prayer, and I just choose to neglect it.  Some mornings, I feel like I can’t miss Sport Center’s Top 10, so I cram it in while I eat my cereal…I could at least take advantage of that time to be in the Word or spend some time praying for the Lord to align my heart with His will for me.  But I don’t…I say that my passion is to be used my God to challenge the Church to love Him more completely, but the truth is that my priorities are all messed up.  If I want to be effective in ministering to God’s people, and if I honestly want to be used in full-time vocational ministry, I have to first be willing to give my life to serving Him and loving Him where I am.  I have to serve, not in hopes of landing a ministry job, but because I truly do love Jesus Christ.  If I truly feel called to full-time ministry, then why do I not take advantage of the spare time I have to study His word and pray faithfully and consistently?  I am reminded that Jesus said, “Whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the Gospel will save it.”

I am clearly a desperate sinner in need of the grace of God…remove me from the throne, Lord Jesus, and please take the place that is rightfully Yours.  Let my claim to love You become a reality in the way I live my life and to what I devote my time…and may the love that You have shown me and given to me flow out from me into the lives of all of those around me.  Please give me the ability to love You because You first loved me…please be glorified in your servant and forgive me once again for my laziness and apathy…reignite a burning passion for You and You alone in my life.  Use me  however You desire and give me the ability to trust You wherever that may be.  Amen.

Certain Uncertainties

I find that in my life, there are many unexpected things that come my way, and I can plan and prepare for the future as much as I want to, but no matter what I expect, chances are things will often not turn out the way that I plan.  There are some certainties in life, but within those certainties are numerous uncertainties (for instance: we know we will experience successes and failures, but we don’t know which endeavors will result in success and which will result in failures at the outset; we are certain that at some point and time, each of our lives on this earth will end, although we are uncertain of exactly when that will happen; we know that in our lives, each of us will experience joys and disappointments, but we are not certain about which result will come from each specific experience…etc.)  I struggle sometimes with the reality that the future is so uncertain…even in the midst of the certainties there are uncertainties.  I think the struggle is an ongoing thing that I will face for the rest of my life, but what it ultimately reveals is a lack of confidence in the Lord.  I this this is part of why Jesus makes it so clear in Matthew 6 that we are not to worry about the future.  Each day has enough worries of it’s own, and when we begin to take the time to worry about what the future holds or what will come our way next, we remove our focus from the Lord and focus on our own concerns.  Ultimately, all it does is cause us to waste the time that we have, and just as Jesus poses the question: “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”

This has really been motivated once again by recent struggles at work.  It’s funny, I found myself struggling like crazy with what God was doing with me at Target and why He had me there.  Why wasn’t I serving somewhere vocationally within the local Church?  I left Target in September and accepted a new position in sales 2 weeks before I got married.  Now, when this happened, I was also interviewing for a position within a local church, and I honestly felt that God was opening the doors for me at the church.  I thought for sure this was the right job and the right fit at the right place…but it clearly wasn’t what God had for me.  The amazing thing is that I can see God’s faithfulness and His provision for me with this current job because it is through this job that the Lord is providing for Amanda and me and meeting all of our needs financially during this time when she is not able to work.  The position has not been without it’s challenges, and I have been and still do face difficulties there.  But what I have found to be consistent with these jobs, is that ultimately, God has led me to both of these jobs for multiple reasons.  The obvious reason is that they both have been used by God to provide for us.  But I think the greater purpose that God has had for me is within the opportunities that I have had to build relationships with both believers and unbelievers.  These relationships and the ministerial opportunities have reminded me of why I feel so strongly called to impact the church and to serve the church locally.  There are people that I’ve had opportunities to share Christ with, and believers whom I’ve had the opportunity to lift up in prayer and hopefully encourage (as I’ve also been encouraged and challenged by many of these people…”as iron sharpens iron”).  In these jobs, which are both in secular environments, where the job responsibilities themselves might not necessarily be incredibly fulfilling, God is revealing his faithfulness and reminding me of what ultimately matters in the midst of all of the stresses and struggles in work.  He is revealing that my ultimate fulfillment is never going to be found in my vocation, whether that vocation be within a full-time ministerial position or something different…my fulfillment is found in the very identity that I’ve been given through Christ.  My fulfillment must be found in Him and I will never be satisfied in anything else until I recognize that.

I am still prayerfully looking into where God might be leading me next and always looking forward to opportunities to minister to people, but in the mean time…I want to recognize that in the midst of the uncertain future, I need to trust in the certainty of God’s faithfulness and know that He has a purpose in each and every situation to which He has led me.  I’m praying for sensitivity to His Spirit, and an authentic desire to know Him more deeply.

In the midst of my struggles, I have to say that I am SOOO thankful to have such a supportive wife in my life.  Amanda is incredible, and when I’ve come home struggling with difficulties I’ve been facing circumstantially at work or elsewhere, she has just been there to encourage and lift me up.  She is truly the most amazing help mate for me and I could never express how thankful I am for her in my life!!  I have many people that God has brought into my life to encourage and support me, but she has truly exemplified to me what a godly help-mate is to be…I don’t express that gratitude often enough or well enough, but I hope that she knows how much I appreciate her…

The Requirement of Regeneration

I just finished reading the book, Plan B, by Pete Wilson (I highly recommend it for any believer who is currently feeling like they have unmet expectations or unfulfilled dreams) and I could share a lot of the insight from that book on here…but there was a passage of Scripture that he quoted near the end of the book that got my mind thinking on an entirely different track.  He quoted John 11, which is the chapter that records the account of Jesus resurrecting Lazarus from the dead.  There were many things that jumped off of the page to me from this particular passage, but I will try to avoid addressing them all and just focus on the main thing that hit me.  The biggest line that I was struck by was actually AFTER Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead.  The story is basically as follows Lazarus was sick and dying and his sisters came seeking the help of Jesus and telling Him of the severity of Lazarus illness.  Jesus intentionally waits to go back until after Lazarus is dead in order to reveal the power and glory of God.  When Jesus arrives in Judea, Lazarus has already been dead for 4 days at this point and has been essentially buried in the traditional way…wrapped in burial cloths and placed in a tomb.  Jesus has the tombstone removed from where it is and calls out to him, “Lazarus, come out!”  To which, Lazarus responds by walking out of the tomb, (the text literally says, “The dead man came out.”)  Jesus told the people to take the burial cloths off of his body and let him go…which the people presumably did.  Then, after the resurrection, the text says something that I’ve sort of brushed over in the past…it says, “Many of the people, who had come to visit Mary and saw what Jesus did, believed in Him.”  MANY of the people…

Alright, now, I can’t imagine what I would do if I were at a funeral for somebody…anybody really…and this was the fourth day after they were pronounced dead, I had been at the visitation and the burial and everything…there is no doubt to anybody witnessing this act, that Lazarus was in fact dead.  I don’t know what I would do, but I can say that witnessing that would remove any doubt in my mind that the man who was able to bring the dead person to life, has the power of giving life to people…so when I read the word “many,” it causes me to question why?   I understand why the many believed, but I’m confused by the ones who did not believe.  I would think that in a situation like that, everybody who witnessed that would come to believe…but truthfully, I don’t think that would be the case.  Even the people who saw miracles like this didn’t all come to believe that Jesus was the Christ, the Son of the Living God!!  The only conclusion that I can draw from that is that the people who did not accept this were under some delusion at that point…and they were.  In fact, all people are…it’s called the impact of sin on our lives.  Nobody can accept the things of God unless His Spirit has regenerated us because we are dead in our sins.  We will justify, rationalize, deny, and do whatever else we have to in order to reject the truth because, as the Bible says in Romans 1…”[we] suppress the truth by our wickedness.”  This is the natural, unnatural state in which we live prior to the Holy Spirit bringing us life.  It is natural because we are all doing what we do by our sinful nature, but it is unnatural because that “natural” behavior is a result of the fall and not the state in which we were created to live our lives.  We are unable to accept the things of God unless His Spirit has brought us to life, and this is why I titled this post, “The Requirement of Regeneration.”  In order to be able to accept the truth about God, He has to give us new life…his Spirit has to regenerate us to life because we are, as Paul so aptly puts it in Ephesians, “…dead in our transgressions.”  That which is dead needs to be brought to life before it can truly be alive.  And true life is found in Christ Jesus…as He states, “I am the way, the truth, and the life…”

This is one thing that has drastically changed the way I evangelize.  I used to study up on all of the logical “proofs” (which are not truly proofs, but arguments) for the existence of God…I could spout out the teleological, ontological, cosmological arguments and go over Thomas Aquinas “Five Ways” until I was blue in the face.  I researched for years the flaws in evolutionary theories and inconsistencies within, and had very strong evidences for belief in the Christian faith.  I would intentionally engage students in my college philosophy and sociology courses in conversations about religious belief in general simply in order to try to convince them of how rational and logical the belief in Christianity is…and as I’ve learned more and more…that is not the most effective way to minister to most people.  There were a few people whom I believe God used those conversations to plant some seeds, but for most of them, I believe they were unmoved.  And the reason is summed up in 1 Corinthians 1.  When I read that it makes total sense to me that pursuing all of these logical proofs for the existence of a higher power does nothing.  Even if I were to convince somebody who was an agnostic that there was a higher power, that doesn’t do anything for their salvation!!  Many people believe in a god, but the Bible says, “Even the demons believe in God…and shudder.”  And even if I was able to convince somebody of  a higher power, that doesn’t mean that they will come to recognize that it is YAHWEH…Father of Jesus the Christ!!  So what good does all of that arguing do?  And this is what I discovered, “For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to the ones being saved it’s the power of God.”  Wow…so unless a person is being saved, the cross is foolishness.  I realized that, although I do believe Christianity makes the most sense to me because it falls in line with the true reality (which is God’s reality)…it is going to be utterly foolish to people who are not being saved.  So although I believe it is important to know what we believe and why we believe it, and we are called to always be ready to give an account for what we believe…I don’t think that it is especially beneficial to try to convince somebody of the validity of the Christian faith through fine sounding arguments.

I think the most effective way to reach people is by striving to live out a life of authentic love.  If we can love and serve others while expecting nothing in return, that puts some stock in what we claim.  That is us living out the truth of the Scripture, and as people encounter the love of God, that’s when His Spirit can begin to do His work.  No amount of fine sounding arguments or even witnessing the miraculous will have an effect on a person unless the Spirit of God has regenerated them and opened that person’s eyes to the truth.  This is why I don’t try to convince people anymore…I know that God’s truth is the truth, but I also recognize that His truth is foolishness to people who have not been given life through the Holy Spirit.  And THIS is why the text says, “most” of those people believe instead of “all” of those people believed.  Because, even though they had all seen it, some of them were unable to believe because they did not have hearts open to accept the truth…after all, once a person comes to the realization of the truth…they have to accept that they are not in control, and that’s a large dose of humility that has to be taken.  And I believe that the only way it can be accepted (and I believe this is backed biblically) is if The Holy Spirit of God regenerates us prior to that experience.  This is also why I believe people are necessarily regenerated prior to conversion (it might be  nearly simultaneous and an indistinguishable time difference, but regeneration does have to precede conversion).  Alright, so that is not at all what Plan B was about, but that was something that I wanted to work through briefly.

Pursuit of Perfection

I may have already written a post with this same title at some time in the past, although I can’t remember for sure.  I keep seeing these ads for Lexus on Twitter and this is their slogan “Pursuit of Perfection.”  And because I see these ads frequently, it is causing me to think about Jesus words at the end of His sermon on the Mount.  In this passage, He essentially clarifies what the letter of the Mosaic Law was intended to do…and how we, as fallen/fleshly people, constantly, whether deliberately or unintentionally, end up misunderstanding what God’s commands are.  Ultimately, Jesus basically reveals that the Law is not simply about the actions of the mind and body, but also about the intentions of the heart.  I have always found this passage to be so full of wisdom (granted, everything Jesus says is utterly wise…omniscience can have that impact on a person).  The particular statement that I want to focus on, and one that has caused me to really reflect upon is when he says, “Be perfect, therefore, as your Father in Heaven is perfect.”

So, whenever I see the ad for Lexus, I am immediately reminded of this verse and the call that Jesus places upon us.  That is quite a command…and one that ought not be simply glossed over but ought to be carefully evaluated.  As I thought about this, two main things came into my mind…they can be summed up like this: ‘That is impossible,’ and ‘Jesus would never command us of something that were truly impossible.’  So I came to wrestle with these seemingly contradictory thoughts in my head that were stemming from this passage.  I really began to think about the process of sanctification and how Paul writes in Philippians that he is confident that “He who began a good work in [us] will be faithful to carry it out to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”  I struggled because the very adjective “perfect” requires that whatever is “perfect” must be in that state forever (at least as I understand perfection).  So, seeing as I have sinned, I can never be truly perfect because of my past.  Now, this is the beauty of the grace of God.  I have been made blameless and I know that God’s strength is made perfect in my weakness.  So although perfection is unattainable, it can be realized in my life if I am made to be perfect by the only Being who is truly perfect.  He, therefore, is the one who defines perfection and can make perfection out of that which is imperfect.  I do believe also that this passage is referring to sinlessness (if He is calling us to be perfect in other areas there is no hope for me…I am not arrogant enough to believe that I am the epitome of physical perfection!!)  I began to consider the fact that the perfection that Christ is calling us to live up to is not maybe perfection as I have defined it, but as God sees it.  [Aside: I think often times, many of the difficulties we have with understanding who God is and what His Word claims stem from us trying to understand an infinite and eternal God with our limited, finite minds...and we also try to define Him with the terms we understand and definitions we have with words rather than letting the text inform our understanding and definitions of who He is and what He is saying...okay, back to the focus]  As I began to think about the possibility and simultaneous impossibility of living out the command that Jesus is giving, there were some other verses came into my mind.  The first was in another passage where Jesus says, “With man, this is impossible, but with God all things are possible” and a passage in Philippians 4 where Paul states, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”  Neither of these passages are directly related to this passage, but the truths within them are very applicable and have been very practical in my understanding of this particular verse.

Ultimately, our pursuit of perfection is destined to fail if we pursue perfection in and of itself.  It is just like when we try to break the bonds of sin or bad habits simply through determination…we are destined to fail.  We will not be able to have success until we pursue Him.  It is through Christ that we are able to do that which is impossible.  We can pursue perfection, but not by pursuing perfection as the ultimate end, but rather by pursuing the One who is truly perfect and who,ultimately, is the definition of perfection.  If we simply look to Him, then the perfected/sinless life is livable…but it is only by constant deliberate pursuit of submitting ourselves to Christ and allowing His Spirit to do the work in our lives.

I believe this is the entire purpose of the Law anyway, to reveal the desperate need we have for a Savior.  Nobody can live up to the standards God is calling us to live up to…it is completely impossible for fallen men to attain those standards…we are powerless to do anything to combat our fleshly nature…the only power we have lies within the life of the Spirit of God indwelling us.  THAT is where our strength can be found…and it is in HIM that we are able to truly pursue the perfection that Jesus is calling us to.  So, His command to be perfect is not only really hard, it is impossible!!  But we must always remember that that which is impossible with man is possible with God.  Remember also, that we were formerly dead in our transgressions and have been graciously brought to life by this same God…and the God who has given us life, is also able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine…

I’m pretty sure I’ve written something like this already in the past, but it is good for me to reevaluate and rehash some of the same things again…I believe that everything happens for a reason, and there is a reason God has continued to bring this passage to my mind every time I see that Lexus ad.  Alright, I’m out…praying that God will enable us all to pursue Him and that HE will do His perfect work within our hearts as we submit to Him and abide in Christ.

My Expectations Versus God’s Plans

It’s funny how sometimes when I have a plan in mind, God has something else completely in store for me.  I’ve been reading “Plan B” by my pastor, Pete Wilson, recently, and as I’ve been reading it, I’ve been struck with the realization that I feel like I am in the middle of a Plan B type of situation (and his book has helped me a lot through this time)…and I always am reminded of the Proverb that says, “In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.”  I have seen this so often in my life…I always seem to have it in my head that God has this particular thing in store for me, and I make my plans accordingly.  I try to be obedient to what I believe God is calling me to, only to discover, that perhaps the LORD has something else in store for me.  For instance, I moved to Nashville almost two years ago thinking that I was going to be a part of a band with a specific goal to reach people and minister to people through music…I even spent my college graduation money on a new kit and road-cases for the tour that was supposed to happen the following spring.  I moved out here (somewhat naively), but also in faith that I was going to fulfill this plan that God had orchestrated for my life.

When I arrived in Nashville, it didn’t take me long to realize that things weren’t quite going as I had expected and planned.  Some issues were arising within the band that I wasn’t expecting and certain information was coming to the surface that I was unaware of…I was really torn because I thought I had moved here in obedience to the LORD, yet nothing seemed to be panning out the way I had anticipated.  I couldn’t find a job for three months.  And when I did find a job, I didn’t expect for it to be something long term, I thought it was just going to be for a short season until God opened the doors for us as a band to go out full-time and simply make music and minister to people.  This is what I had been expecting when I moved here…but God was directing my steps for a completely different purpose.

I thought I was here to play drums and minister to people through music, but God had a different reason for bringing me here.  I met the most amazing woman a few months after arriving in Nashville, and she has been a huge encouragement and inspiration to me.  She has also been challenging me to practice my faith in a way unlike anybody else ever has.  She lives out her faith in authenticity and with deep conviction and great compassion.  I did NOT plan for that when I moved here…at all.  Completely unwritten from my plan for coming here, but God directed my steps to this place at least in part, so that I could meet her.  Not only that, but I needed to find a home church down here…and I started trying her church.  I knew she was involved there, and I struggled at first because the preaching style was very different from that which I generally preferred…and I had a critical heart going into it.  But I didn’t want to pull her away from a place where she was serving with her gifts and a part of the Body…so I prayed as I continued to attend for the next month.  Over the course of that month, God did an incredible work in my heart and revealed a lot of stupid arrogance and pride that was there, preventing me from experiencing the work the Holy Spirit was wanting to do within my heart.  As I began to attend this church on regular basis, and was being fed from the Word of God…I became convicted that I wasn’t using my gifts to serve and I was withholding myself from the Church.  And as I sought opportunities to serve, God opened doors left and right.  And the more I began to serve, the more I began to recognize that God had guided me to this place all along…and He was wanting to bring me here so that He could reignite that fire within my soul.  He wanted me to remember the purpose for which I am on this earth…which is ultimately to bring glory to His name.  And I needed to be willing to serve Him however and wherever He wants to take me.  As I have continued to get more and more involved in my local church body, I have found that God is reminding me of why I chose to go and study Theology/Bible in college…because I want to know Him.  And I learn so much about knowing Him by serving His people…I get to experience Him in the conversations I have with His people, in seeing His sons and daughters lovingly and sacrificially serve one another…and stretching out His hands of compassion to reach out to those who are considered by many to be unreachable.  I have had opportunities to see the power of the Holy Spirit transform the hearts and minds of people…and I’ve had the chance to experience His power in my own life.   He has reminded me that He has a specific plan for my life, and although I don’t see the specifics of what that is at the moment, I know that He will continue to faithfully determine my steps…and will always reveal to me whatever I need to know, and whatever I don’t know, I don’t need to know…I just need to step out in faith and learn to trust Him.

If I am going to be honest, (and why shouldn’t I be?)  I still struggle with this.  I know it in my head, but can I live it out in my life?  Can I say that I trust in Him when it looks like all of the doors that seemed to be wide open before are closing around me?  Or…more accurately, can I actually trust in Him when I say that I do?  I find it easy to proclaim the truth that I know…but not always as easy to actually live that out…that is why I have to cling to the grace of God.  I know what He is calling me to, which is 100% trust, but I am feeble-minded and weak-hearted and often fail to live up to this…thankfully, His grace is sufficient for me in my weakest moments.  And it is through His grace, that I ultimately find my hope and trust.  I cannot trust in my own ability to trust in Him completely, but I know that my faith is given to me from Him…and He is utterly faithful.  Therefore, I know that my faith in Him is assured because it does not depend upon my faithfulness, but His…and He is ever-faithful.  And I know that whatever plans I make, God might have something else in store, and I will strive to walk in His grace and be faithful to Him in obedience…and the journey will likely not be easy, but certainly will be worth it!

Pornography is NOT the Real Issue

I saw a tweet by one of my pastors yesterday, Justin Davis, that got my mind going and I wanted to work it out a bit.  There is so much talk about how pornography is such a problem in our culture today…especially within Christian circles.  And Justin’s tweet suggested something that I have believed for a long time…he wrote this, “I wish the Church would initiate conversation about porn…I’m talking to Christian guys daily who struggle and feel they have nowhere to go.  Our solution seems to be computer software and accountability partners.  We are great at treating symptoms.”  I think that his statement is something that I have also observed to be true.  We focus so much time and energy talking about what kind of a problem pornography is in our culture and specifically within Christian circles, and specifically a problem for men.  I don’t believe that pornography is the problem…it is evidence of a deeper problem.  Saying that pornography is the problem or the issue is like saying that knives are the problem in a situation involving serial murderer who slaughters people with knives.  People would not go around saying that the knives are to blame for the murderer’s evil behavior…the knives are simply the means by which that murderer has chosen to carry out his perverted plans of action.  The murderer could just have easily chosen a different instrument (or weapon) by which to take the lives of other people, but he’s chosen knives.  I believe that the same thing is true of the person struggling with an addiction to pornography.  The issue is not the pornography addiction…the issue is that the person’s heart is not finding satisfaction in Christ.  Turning to pornography is a consequence of a deeper issue, not the issue in and of itself.  I am not saying that pornography is a good (or even a neutral thing), I am saying that pornography is not the end all be all issue…it is an indication of the issue residing within a person’s heart.

I remember when I was a high school student, we had a man coming to speak to our youth group on the topic of sexuality.  The issues that were presented were that women always struggle with their self-image, and men always struggle with pornography.  Now, I knew that I didn’t struggle with pornography (although, I had major self-image issues!)…so I thought that I was all good.  I thought, ‘Man, I don’t look at pornography, I signed my “True Love Waits” card, I must be walking in purity, the way Christ wants me to walk.’  What I began to realize though, was that all this speaker did was address one possible issue stemming from a heart that is not finding it’s satisfaction in Christ.  (well…he also isolated girls who struggled with porn, and guys who had major insecurities about their appearances…but that’s beside the point).  As I was reading the Scriptures, I found something that really caused me to reflect more deeply upon myself with regards to sexual “purity.”  It is in Matthew 5 when Jesus is giving His famous Sermon on the Mount.  I took the time to memorize the passage starting with verse 27 because I knew it would be instrumental in my life.  In it, Christ explains that if a man even looks at a woman with lust in his eyes, he has committed adultery with her in his heart.  And then reminds us that God looks at the heart of people, as opposed to simply the external actions.  This passage really opened my eyes to something.  It opened my eyes to realize that, although pornography wasn’t the issue for me, I still might not have had a pure heart.  I knew there were times when I let lustful thoughts come into my mind, and I believe that this is the same struggle as somebody who is viewing pornographic material.  It made me realize that, perhaps I hadn’t “arrived” to some great spiritual place because I wasn’t involved in this.  Ultimately, the struggle for purity is not about avoiding pornography, but rather about pursuing Christ-likeness.

I believe that this is true of all sin patterns that are evident in our lives…or all addictive behaviors.  In order to address these problems, we have to dig down to the root and make sure we address the problem at it’s deepest point.  I believe all sin patterns we see displayed in the lives of people (or that are displayed in our own lives) are always just evidence of the deeper problem.  Trying to address the evidence is not going to lead to prolonged success and ultimately, healing.  Trying to take care of what is seen doesn’t lead to anything other than external behavior modification…which is not a result of the Spirit’s work, but rather of man attempting to heal himself.  It is like when somebody has a yard full of weeds.  They have grass as well, but the weeds stick up further than the blades of grass, and the yellow color of the dandelions shows because the weeds have grown.  In an effort to remedy this problem, the person decides to mow the lawn.  And when the lawn is completely mowed, it looks fantastic.  All you can see are the green blades of grass and it is all the same length…it looks clean and well maintained.  It might take a day or two before the weeds will sprout back up again, but it will be very evident that the problem has not been solved, it was simply a temporary attempt at a solution.  Until the person decides to remove the weeds from the root, they will continue to grow back and rapidly spread to impact the entire lawn.  This is how sin works when we try to simply take out the visible part.  We need to address the sin at the root, and the root of sin, I believe, is pride.  It is in our pride that we believe that we have a better plan for our lives than God (we would likely never utter these words, because logically, we know they are nonsensical, but we live that out in practice whenever we sin).  We are essentially saying, “God, I know that you have a plan for me, and you say that you’re plan is better…but I don’t think you really know what is best for me.  I know that you created me and everything, but I don’t think that what you have for me is what is best for me in my life…in this moment…at this time…in this place…etc.)

We will always struggle with sin, it is a result of the Fall of man…we all have a sinful nature.  Those of us who are in Christ, however, do not have to be in bondage to that nature anymore because we have been graciously regenerated by the Spirit of God and brought to new life!  Not only that, but we are now freed from our sins and have become slaves to Christ Jesus…so although the option to sin is still there…the Spirit of God lives within our souls and is prompting us to trust in Him and His ways.  Because, ultimately, God does know what is best for us, and obedience to Him will always result in a more fulfilling life…not “fulfilled” as we would measure it in physical, worldly terms, but “fulfilled” because we will be walking in the way that God has designed us to walk.

Ultimately, the solution to pornography addiction, and any sin pattern for that matter, is to submit to Christ and recognize that God’s commands are given in order for us to lives the most fulfilling lives possible.  That being said, I do believe that the Lord has given us many tools in order to combat the attacks from the enemy, and in order to have our minds be constantly renewed by the Holy Spirit.  The greatest thing for us is that we have the Spirit of God residing within us.  He desires for us to live holy, righteous lifestyles that honor the Father and glorify the Son…and He will empower us to do so…we just have to allow Him to do that.  We also have the Word of God, which not only provides wisdom and insight into how to live practically, but also is living and active.  There is a power that lies within the Words recorded in the Scriptures because they are God-breathed.  We need to utilize His Word in order to know Him more deeply, and also as the “Sword of the Spirit” to fight the battles against the lies that the enemy wants us to believe.  We also have an opportunity to pray because Christ is interceding on our behalf.  He is praying for us and has made the door of communication completely open with our Father and Creator…we need to recognize that and take advantage of the fact that we can be honest with our God about our struggles.  We can approach His throne with confidence because of the work of Jesus on the cross and in His resurrection…He has made a way for us to be reconciled to a right relationship with Him.  The other tool that is incredibly necessary when striving to “fight the good fight of the faith” is one another.  We have other brothers and sisters in Christ who are there to walk with us, and who are journeying together in our pursuit of the Lord.  We need to be faithful to one another in lifting one another up in prayer, encouraging one another, exhorting one another, lovingly correcting one another when necessary, and just living life together.  There is so much evidence in the Scriptures that we need one another to properly carry-out God’s plan for His Church, and having brothers and sisters who know us, with all of our imperfections, struggles, and problems, and love us, not only in spite of those, but love us enough to share our burdens and carry those burdens with us…THIS is where the love of God shines unbelievably in our lives.  There will be times when we will stumble, we will all falter, but the key is to help one another get back up, and journey on…even when it seems impossible.  Because, God is calling us to a better life than the ones we are living…He has designed us in such a way that our ultimate fulfillment is found in Him…and we need to recognize that and pursue that.  When we falter, we get back up and persevere because we have confidence that His Spirit is still residing within us…and we pray for strength to live in obedience and service to our Father in Heaven…so that He will ultimately be glorified in all that we say and do.

Struggling in Prayer

I got a voicemail today from a friend from college with whom I haven’t spoken in quite some time.  I had called him a few months back and left a message and today was the first time I had heard from him.  When I checked the message, he had informed me that it has been a crazy busy spring and that the day I called, he was actually at the hospital with his wife…she had just been diagnosed with Thyroid cancer.  He said, “So, it’s been one of those kind of crazy springs!”  I thought to myself, ‘There are times when I feel like my life gets crazy, but these people are my age and they are facing cancer!’  Two things went through my mind: One-’Wake up and take advantage of every minute you have!’ And Two-’I need to be praying for her.’  This second thought is the one that I’ve been wrestling with in my head for the remainder of the day.

I called him back to inform him that I understood him not getting back to me and also to let him know that I would be praying fervently for them during this time.  As I began to pray for her though, I found myself struggling to do so.  I mean, I was praying, but as I began praying, it was like a sort of skepticism (forget the semantics, it was “doubt”) came in.  I was praying for her to be healed, but I also said, “Lord, your will be done.”  And “If it is your will, please bring healing to her body, but if not, then please strengthen them during this time.”

I got to the point where I said something like this, “Lord, you know that I desire for her to be healed.  You know what I want, and are not surprised that I am coming to you asking for you to heal her.  But I also know that ultimately, your will is going to be done in this situation.  If it is your will for her to be healed, then you will heal her body…whether through the means of some medical treatment or by a miraculous, supernatural work in her body…you can and will heal her if you are willing.”

Here is where my struggle comes in and I begin to wonder what the point is of praying for her…it is like Jesus says when He instructs us how to pray, “Your Father in heaven already knows what you need before you say it.”  That’s why the prayer Jesus modeled was so simple and made up of so few words…but one thing that is very evident in that prayer that He modeled was “Your will be done.”  The focus on Jesus’ prayer was that the Father’s will is to be done (and this is seen again when He prays in the Garden of Gethsemane the night before He is arrested and going to be crucified).  He asks of the Father, “If possible, may this cup be taken from me, yet not as I will, but as you will.”

In this situation, Jesus (who is God) states essentially that what He asks for (and must also desire, at least as a man) is for some other possible outcome than the one which His Father has called to come to pass…but ultimately, He desires for the will of the Father to be done.  I may be bordering on blasphemy, although I know God understands the place from which this is coming, but it looks in this particular situation as if Jesus didn’t want the same thing as His Father.  But, what I see, is Jesus saying that, “Although I do not want it to go this way…More than anything else, I desire for Your will to be done.”

So I struggle to pray for God to change circumstances or to do this, that, or the other…and sometimes, I feel like when I pray, I say “Your will be done” more than any other utterance from my mouth…simply because often times, I feel like what God has ordained in a situation might not line up with what I want in my flesh, but in my Spirit I desire for God’s will to be done over anything else.  I think the same is true in Jesus…although, it’s different because He is God and man…but it is His flesh (not “flesh” as in “sin,” but rather His human nature) that is desiring to not have to face the cross, but it is His Spirit that ultimately yearns for the will of the Father to come to pass.  And this is why He willingly goes to the cross, because He understands that this is what the Father is calling Him to and this is what is ultimately important.

Sometimes I struggle though, because I feel like I am skeptical in my prayers.  I pray, “Lord please heal her,” or “Lord, please open the doors here,” or “Lord please open the eyes and heart of this person so that they, too, can come to you and see the truth…” but your will be done.  It’s almost like I say, “Your will be done” as an obligatory tag to any prayer request that I have.  As I say that phrase, I begin to doubt, not that God is capable of answering the prayers the way that I desire (I know He is), and not that He is hearing my prayers (I know He is), but rather, that there is a point to me presenting my requests to Him when ultimately, His will is going to be done.

I think what I’m concluding (or I guess, where I am currently landing on this process of understanding) is that the prayers that I am uttering are more for me than for anybody else.  I do pray in faith that God is able to do any of the things that I ask of Him, but I also know that He is not obligated to carry out any request of mine to the determined end that I would like to see happen.  He can if He chooses, but He isn’t in a place where He must.  Ultimately, He is God and it is very evident throughout the Scriptures that He cannot be thwarted and His will is going to be done…nothing and nobody can stop that.

So what prayer comes down to, for me, is I guess a recognition that ultimately, God is in control.  I cannot do anything to control my circumstances, or those of others around me…all that I can do is recognize that every circumstance is held in the hands of my Creator and nothing happens outside of His will.  NOTHING HAPPENS OUTSIDE OF THE WILL OF GOD!!!  (even the Fall of man, and Lucifer…although I’m not sure I want to open that can of worms right now).

I don’t think I have really concluded anything here…I still feel like when I pray for people to be healed or pray for God to change some sort of external circumstance (or even an internal one for that matter…) God is never obligated to do so.  He cannot be manipulated into carrying out my requests the way that I want them to be carried out…so what I walk away with is the peace of knowing that God is in control and that whatever the outcome may be in any given situation…God’s will is going to be done!  And I can trust in Him completely.  Even if I lose my life…ultimately, He will be glorified because that was His time to call me home and His sovereignty would have been revealed in that, and His will would have been carried out in such a way that His glory is revealed.

Alright…so often times, when I write, I feel like I come to a conclusion that helps me sleep better…this conclusion is one that reminds me that ultimately, prayer enables me to take the issues in my heart and on my mind, and lay them down before the Lord in surrender…saying essentially…”These concerns, worries, trials, troubles, victories, all of them, are at Your feet, and You can do as You wish and I will trust in You.”

Perhaps this is why prayer causes one’s faith to grow so much, not because God answers every prayer the way that we want Him to, but because it is through prayer that we begin to surrender to God and recongize that we have to trust in Him with the outcome, knowing that He is in control.

I bet this is really long and I have to be at work relatively soon…so I’m going to call it a night.  I’m going to bed praying for God’s will to be done in my life.

OH…also, my friend left me another message later in the day while I was at work saying that he was sorry for the way that previous message ended.  His wife currently no longer has cancer…God has chosen to heal her from this sickness at this time…and ultimately…He is glorified in this outcome because His will has been carried out (and continues to be)!